we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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