Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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