Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
