I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i think im in europe. pls send help
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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