apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I forget how to act sober
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
