i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
