She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
