can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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