at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
