so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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