I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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