Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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