remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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