Just cropdusted the office
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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