told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
