At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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