can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
