remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
