i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner