absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm like, not good at living.