I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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