I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
