Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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