I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You are a booty call, not a friend.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
