i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
