listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
