Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
When did angry sex become our thing?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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