i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
