There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
