brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
