508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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