dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
