oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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