so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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