I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
