to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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