is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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