u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
