Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
