you guys were way drunker than both of me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
