I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I smell like Dick and happiness
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize