I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
