Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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