he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
