In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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