youre lurking in front of me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
