Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
