i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
