It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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