After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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