Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
