i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.