it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
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Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
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Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life