So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .