Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
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Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.