Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize