I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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