Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
