dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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