it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Green mimosas i think yes
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
